Dream Sequence

Ceuta - Real Murcia, Sunday 7th November. Hopeful punt from Pedro rebounds of three different players before nestling into the back of the net. It is the 97th minute and we go one nil up. There isn't time for more, not one more kick, the ref blows for time and we extend our advantage at the top after Sevilla Atletico and Cadiz both drop points.

Wednesday 10th November, a packed Bernabeu applauds Real Murcia off the pitch after a famous and deserved 0 - 2 against Madrid's galacticos. Marca run a full front page of Isaac screaming open mouthed to the heavens persued by ecstatic team mates after beating the offside trap, rounding Iker Casillas and belting the ball home from a tight angle to make it 2 nil. Florentino Perez refuses to answer questions, and the next morning José Mourinho leaves Madrid by mutual consent.

In the cup we get Barcelona, win 2 nil at the New Condomina, and lose 3 - 1 at The Nou camp, our goal coming from a Carles Puyol own-goal header in the 92nd minute. Through on away goals.

Quarter final draws us against Mallorca who we dismiss 6 - 0 on aggregate.

Semi finals we breeze past Atletico Madrid, El País front page titles "Miracle on the Segura".

The Final at Mestalla in Valencia has us up against Deportivo La Coruña, three quarters of the ground is red. We claw our way back after being 1 down, extra time brings no more scores and it goes to penalties. By this time it is pouring with rain. After ten penalties each, all converted, only the goalkeepers remain, sudden death. Deportivo's keeper steps up and blasts his shot over the bar. Alberto needs to score to win Real Murcia their first Copa del Rey. It rains harder. He steps up and hits a weak effort, and in slow motion you can see the Deportivo goalie smiling as it heads confortably into his chest....but, suddenly the wet ball squirms from his grasp, spins around, bounces off a heel and trickles over the line. Eva Franco in La Verdad runs an article critisising the side's lack of goals in such a big game.

Deportivo fail to recover from this, lose all their remaining league games, and are relegated back to Segunda. They fail to meet the deadline for paying players wages and are relegated directly to segunda B.

In the league we go into the play-off unbeaten, and thrash Getafe B 12 - 1 on aggregate, winning the first leg 0 - 12, but falling 0 - 1 in the return at the Condomina, Sergio Fernandez, Jesus Samper and Iñaki Alonso putting themselves in the starting 11. Many supporters brandishing Madrid and Barcelona tracksuits leave waving their hankercheifs on 80 minutes, cursing and vowing never to come back. Promotion is assured.

FC Balsicas Cartagena are relegated to segunda B after a 5 team last-day conspiracy, due to goal difference, a single goal, after a strange 0 - 7 home defeat for Numancia by Huesca (Juan Cruz Ochoa scoring the vital 7th goal on 98 minutes, clearly punching the ball into the net). Going down with them are Villarreal B, Albacete and Girona. La Opinión publish a full page photo of the referee, with a target on his forehead. Ochoa is given the freedom of the city of Murcia, and considers going into politcs after coming top of an opinion poll which questioned "Who should be our next Mayor?".

Barcelona's crazy finances finally blow up and they default on their loans, are unable to refinance and are relegated. After a brilliant piece of legal shenanagans, lawyers Samper and Samper find a loophole and uncover a conspiracy by Deportivo president Lendoiro and the referee of the Depor - Real Murcia match in 1990, which Depor won and were promoted instead of Real. In a landmark case, the leagues "historic debt" with Real Murcia is recognized, they repalce Barcelona in Primera, and all Depotivos titles are awared to Murcia.

Owner Jesus Samper declares absolute love for Real Murcia, sells off all his other business interests and invests all of the money Abramovich style in Real Murcia. Lionel Messi comes in from Barcelona in a cash plus player deal involving Dani Aquino.

Murcia qualify for the Europa League, and go on to beat Shaktar Donestsk in the final. 3rd in the league brings the Champions league to town.

Following season we win La Liga by 8 points and massacre Chelsea in the Champions league final. By this time Mourinho is back at Chelsea, and suffers an after match nervous breakdown.

2014, second Champions league trophy, 2nd league title, first league, cup and Champions league treble by a spanish side.

2015, Iñaki Alonso is made a saint at the Vatican by Pope Benedict XVI.

2016, Jesus Samper declares Real Murcia now have nuclear capability and has weapons pointing at Alicante, Cartagena and Pyongyang......

Then my alarm rang.

Moral of the story : Don't eat cheese at bedtime.

Ceuta - Real Murcia kick's off at 5 p.m. this afternoon, 4 p.m. UK time, and can be followed via the clubs official website ( www.realmurcia.es ).